The popularity of online dating apps such as Tinder, Grindr, Hinge and Coffee meets bagel and more has not only increased the dating pool for people but has also accelerated the hookup culture that has been around for a while. Hookups aren’t a new phenomenon. The sexual revolution of the sixties, growing incomes and independence of young adults means that they no longer follow the traditional route of getting married young and having kids. Young people, especially college going adults put their career ahead of marriage and settling down. This does not necessarily mean that they lose out on having a relationship while they are in college. The terms of the relationship however has changed. Classes, assignments, tests and internships mean that college students find very little time for one another to have a committed relationship.Using online dating apps they find a person with whom they could have a casual affair with. This could involve making out, casual sexual encounters or one night stands. The popularity of the dating apps could not have been possible if there were a huge percentage of men alone wanting to hook up or want a fling or some fun. Although there are less number of women registered on these dating sites, there are enough to show that there has been a major shift in attitudes when it comes to hookups and casual sex, especially among women. There has long been a common misconception that it is the men who are more interested in hookups and casual flings and women are more interested in commitment and long term relationships. But the increasing presence of women on dating apps and their active participation in these online apps mean that they are indeed propelling the hookup culture as much as men do. Looking at the hundreds of profiles, swiping right and picking a few guys out of hundreds still means women are picky, but that does not mean they end up picking just one. They pick four of five, go out on dates or have a fling and then decide on who to go out on a long term with. The hookup culture is more prevalent in colleges than any other place.
There are multiple reasons as to why hookups are increasing and more prevalent in campuses. The girls who go to college are quite young and in no hurry to settle. They work as hard as the men to get into college and get a high paying job later on. Tuition, student debt, classes and job pressures mean that they are not willing to jeopardize their chances in their professional as well as personal lives. These women are well aware that the various pressures they face in college would not help a relationship and have increasingly begun to keep it casual. There is also this phenomenon of delayed adulthood among the millennials (Steinberg, 2014). Compared to their parents from the previous generation the young adults are in no hurry to get a job, get married and have kids. There is an extension of adolescence that involves experimenting and having fun while securing a future. Instead of settling for one guy to spend the rest of their lives with, the younger generation experiments with more people. Garcia et al in their paper argue that young adults of today are ‘physiologically able to reproduce but are not psychologically ready to get married or have kids’ (Garcia et al, 2013) .The campus provides them with ample opportunities. In the campus, they are together with a bunch of likeminded people who does not want to take things seriously and where hookups are not frowned upon. In fact it works well for the women as it does for men. With a hook up, the women in college can have fun and not think seriously about commitment. They can have their fun and also concentrate on their studies. Hook ups are also a stress buster. They can avoid the drama, the possessiveness and everything else that comes with being in a relationship. Another reason for hook ups to be popular among young women is the fact that living expenses are soaring. Settling down would mean getting a place of their own, which is becoming quite difficult with astronomical rents and down payments. Since many choose to stay with roommates or with their parents, a hook up works well. College going women can have their fun without having to answer questions about the seriousness of their relationship.
Throughout history society has given women or forced upon them certain roles. Although they won the right to vote and could inherit property in early last century, they were still viewed as someone who should stay at home while the man went out and put food on the table. For long, they were the compliant housewives, who kept house, took care of the children and put her husband’s needs over hers. Rigid attitudes about sex and frowning about premarital sex and unwed pregnancies also meant that women were forced to get married young or marry the first guy they had dated. As the society changed and industrialization and technological advancements took over, the ideas about dating, sex and marriage also changed. Women started working outside, went to college, made money and started concentrating on careers. These days there are an equal if not more number of women in college than men. They work hard and try to build a resume that stands out from the rest. This is important in a highly competitive environment and a shaky economy. For most women in college who spend thousands of dollars in tuition and put in crazy hours studying, having a solid resume is all that matters (Taylor, 2013). Finding a boyfriend is not a top priority. Hook ups solve the problem of physical intimacy. Although many complain that hook ups are the death of emotional intimacy, it is also true that most who hook up know what they are getting into. The delayed adulthood phenomenon also ensures that emotional commitment is not all that important. Serious commitment and building a life together are being reserved for the thirties while the twenties are all about having fun, working hard and getting or moving towards a dream job. Another misconception about hookups is that women end up getting the raw end of the deal. Somehow women are always seen as the emotional clingy types and men as the ones that are looking for a bit of fun. As the position of women change, so do their attitudes about sex and marriage. They work as hard as the men in their classes and believe that they should have fun too. Hook ups do not also carry the stigma that they used to carry a few decades ago. In an era where sex tapes are common and the showcase of the body is accepted, hook ups are not seen as a bad thing. It has been accepted to a large degree by men and women. Campuses usually have a liberal attitude compared to other places and this give the women more freedom to experiment.
Although hooking up has its many advantages, it also has a lot of pitfalls. Studies have shown that women are more likely to regret having hooked up than men do. Although both sexes experience regret, shame and guilt at some point in their lives about hooking up, women are more likely to have negative feelings about it (Cambell, 2008). Negative feelings surface when they feel like they have been used or if they feel like they had used the other person. This is increased when there has been sexual encounter on the first meeting or soon after meeting. A large number of hookups in campuses happen during parties or spring breaks. These hookups are largely a result of heavy drinking and are regretted when they come back to their senses. Another pitfall of hookups is the possibility that there is a higher risk of catching sexually transmitted diseases. A large percentage of hookups and one night stands are with strangers and the women are not likely to know the sexual history of their partners. Catching a sexually transmitted disease is a problem for both the men and the women. Although attitudes have changed and women are seen and heard everywhere it should also be noted that in some cases old attitudes still remain. Women can still be labelled as being a whore or one with loose morals if she has multiple partners without getting serious with any of them. Society still has double standards when it comes to sex. While a man with many conquests is seen something as a hero, a women with the same number of sexual partners is seen as being easy. In a college atmosphere, it is possible for this label to stick for the number of years that a woman spends there and this can seriously hurt her emotionally. It is also not just the men who label these women as sluts or sexually promiscuous but also the women themselves. Some women believe that any chance of them getting into a serious relationship are affected because of this. However in spite of the negative aspects associated with hookups, they are on the rise. An important reason for this is the lack of time as well as the change in priorities. A stable job and enough spending money are becoming more important than making babies and saving for them. The college going generation are also relatively coddled and pampered compared to their parents and they are more set of continuing that lifestyle than emulating that of their parents.
It is true that hookups are increasing in campuses and the statistics from tinder and other dating sites are testament to this fact. The attitudes of college going women about sex and hookups have changed. A majority of them are focused on finishing their degrees and getting a good job. All life is not just about work and no play. They believe that boys should not always have all the fun. Although society has still not come to terms with a liberated woman choosing any number of partners, it has not stopped women from experimenting or having a fling or a hookup. Life in campus makes it easier for them as they are surrounded by people who think like them, act like them or do not care much about it to create a scene. The women are aware of the physical and emotional risks associated with hookups. Rape, STD’s and a broken heart are common. But it does not always happen and since it has become an accepted alternative to dating, more college going women feel free to experiment. The success of online dating apps just go to show that hookups are increasing and that women, especially college going women do not have any hangups about it.
Works Cited
Taylor, Kate. Sex on Campus: She Can Play That Game, Too. Nytimes. 12 July 2013. Web. 9 June 2016.
Steinberg, Laurence. The Case for Delayed Adulthood. Nytimes. 19 Sept 2014. Web. 9 June 2016.
Garcia. R. Justin, Reiber, Chris.,Massey, Sean G. Merriwether, Ann M. Sexual Hook-up Culture. Monitor on Psychology. American Psychological Association. Feb 2013. Web. 9 June 2016.
Cambell. A. The morning after the night before: Affective reactions to one-night stands among mated and unmated women and men. Human Nature 19.2 (2008): 157–173.
