Spousal abuse is defined as any abusive conduct, whether a single instance or several instances and discrete or regular, between sexual or intimate partners who are married, living together of even dating . It is often treated interchangeably as domestic violence which is how most legal frameworks address spousal abuse. Domestic violence is defined as any act that causes bodily harm, physical harm, or emotional harm conducted against a family member . The interchangeability of definition with domestic violence can diminish the nature of and the extent of victimization involved in spousal abuse. An intimate sexual relationship like marriage has a different emotional set up than other forms of family relationships including parent-child, and that between siblings. The scope and scale of violence and its psychological impact is also different.
Abuse is generally and almost immediately associated with physical and bodily harm and spousal abuse is almost generally defined in terms of the physical abuse involved. However, spousal abuse encompasses all kinds of abuse – financial abuse which includes usurping a partner’s money, verbal abuse through use of threats, degrading language, intimidating language and profanity. Another form of spousal abuse is withholding living expenses and denying food, water, shelter and clothes to the partner.
Other family members have a relationship of blood and kin whereas married or sexual partners are people from different families who have no other bond except that of their emotional relationship. Hence the level of victimization and the amount of power an abuser holds over the abused is also different from and sometimes greater than in the abuse perpetrated against blood relations.
This is clearly reflected in the fact that victims of spousal abuse seldom leave the relationship . People enter marriages for love and for creating a family and abuse or difficulty rarely diminishes these feelings. Abusing spouses will often act penitent, leaving the other partner confused about their behavior. Society’s response to spousal abuse is also different from that of other forms of domestic violence like abuse of children or the elderly. In many cultures it is ingrained from childhood that the elderly must be looked after and treated with respect but no such training is provided for treatment of spouses. Indeed entire societies react with horror at the abuse of old people. Yet spousal abuse rarely illicit such reactions from society.
Spousal abuse is even now considered a “private matter between two individuals” . Society also conditions people, especially women, to adjust and accept the tribulations of a marriage even if extreme violence is involved. Spousal abuse often involves coerced sexual intercourse or marital rape which although is now being recognized as a form of abuse, is yet to be criminalized even in developed countries. This is because marriage is traditionally seen as a relationship in which sexual relations are permitted.
This is why spousal abuse must be defined separately as any form of abusive behavior against an intimate sexual partner, and not be defined in the realm of or made interchangeable with domestic violence. However, can every instance of abuse within a marriage or between intimate partners be treated as spousal abuse? The definition states that even a single instance or discrete instances must be treated in the same manner as regular abuse. How far is that applicable legally?
Katarina, a woman in her twenties, had married her husband Eddy when they were both very young . When Eddy lost his job, he started becoming abusive towards Katarina. He would beat her up so badly that it often required hospital stays, in one case for two months. Each time Eddy took her to different hospitals to avoid suspicion and no one at any of the hospitals checked with Katarina if Eddy was responsible. He repeatedly threatened to hurt her more if she informed anyone. Once he threw her down a flight of stairs which resulted in a broken ankle, fractured wrist and dislocated shoulder. Katarina was never allowed to leave home without Eddy’s permission. When his sister accused Katarina of doing that, he beat her up without checking the facts first. Her mother told Katarina that she was being abused but as an abuse victim herself, her mother further advised that “Whatever happens at home, stays at home”. The repetitive pattern of abuse, the coercive and controlling nature of the abuser and the social responses to the issue are all representative of a case of spousal abuse.
In any intimate relationship, there is bound to occasional conflict arising from a difference of opinion . There might also be an instance of perceived verbal or physical abuse such as calling a partner by a derogatory name in the heat of the argument or grabbing them and releasing them during an argument. However most arguments soon end and partners reconcile with no repetition of any abuse. If there are no indicators of abusive behavior like controlling, attempts to isolate partner, sexual coercion, verbal abuse and threats, physical violence or attempts to control the finances solely by denying the partner rights to any money, a single instance of abuse within an instance of marital conflict cannot fall into the category of spousal abuse. Also spousal abuse has, in any situation, perpetrators and victims whereas in marital conflicts normally both spouses are angry and fighting with each other trying to get across a point. They are also, at some point, able to reach some kind of conclusion.
Spousal abuse is the repeated and targeted abuse, of any nature, of an intimate sexual partner which results in physical, mental and economical damage to the partner. Given the separate nature of sexual relationships and other family relationships and the impact of and victimization involved in spousal abuse, the term spousal abuse should not be used interchangeably with the term domestic abuse.
Works Cited
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Child Welfare Information Gateway. "Definitions of Domestic Violence." 2013. Child Welfare. Web. 19 June 2016.
CRCVC. "Spousal Abuse." n.d. Canadian Resource Center for Victims of Crime. http://crcvc.ca/docs/spousalabuse.pdf. 19 June 2016.
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Meyer, Cathy. The Difference Between Domestic Abuse and Normal Marital Conflict. 2016. Web. 19 June 2016.
NCADV. National Statistics. n.d. Web. 19 June 2016.
WHO. "Abuse of the Elderly." n.d. WHO. Web. 19 June 2016.
