The book titled “Lament for a Son,” written by Nicholas Wolterstorff gives an account of his painful experiences when his 25-year-old son dies in an accident while climbing a mountain. Wolterstorff discusses about various events that enabled him reconcile the grief for the loss of his son through immense faith in God . Through “Lament for a Son”, it is certain that grief is a significant part of individuals’ lives post loss of their loves ones and religion plays a crucial role in bringing hope into their lives. Therefore, this paper addresses Elizabeth Kubler-Ross’ five stages of grief expressed through the story, thereby demonstrating how Wolterstorff finds joy after his Eric’s loss. The paper further explains the significance of death in the context of the Christian narrative and how Wolterstorff was able to comfort himself through hope of resurrection.
Grief is an emotion experienced by people when they lose their closed ones to death. This emotion entails several stages as an individual confronts the loss of their dear ones until the moment they accept the truth . Wolterstorff’s reflections in “Lament for a Son” are a clear portrayal of grief as a crucial process in one’s life. In this story, Wolterstorff narrates the ways through which he dealt with the unexpected loss of his son. According to Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, individuals undergo five stages of grief when they suffer loss. These stages include “denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance” . The five stages do not necessarily occur in the specified order and vary from one person to another person. In “Lament for a Son”, Wolterstorff mournfully expresses these five stages, which would be explained in the next section.
In the denial stage, people tend to deny the fact that they have lost their dear ones hoping that some good news would come along. In “Lament for a Son”, Wolterstorff started thinking as to what if his son had not climbed the mountain at all. In the anger stage people tend to accept gradually that they have lost their loved ones to death . As a result, they show anger towards their loved one lost to death, other people and objects. In this case, Wolterstorff was angry with his son as to why he climbed the mountain by himself. The author was also angry at himself as he was not present with his son. He felt the need to stay with his son before his death to offer him goodbye . In the bargaining stage of grief, people tend to question themselves about “What if?”. In Wolterstorff’s case, he was thinking as to what if his son had died of a disease as it would cause less pain rather than falling off from a mountain .
In the depression stage, the fourth stage of grief, people realize that their anger and bargaining are not capable of reversing the loss of their loved ones. People cry and withdraw from others in this stage as they realize the reality of the death of their loved ones and some people often blame themselves for the loss . In “Lament for a Son”, Wolterstorff cried for the loss, which was against the society. The author took the whole responsibility of his son’s death and commented that it seemed like a battle from which he failed to protect his soldier. In the final stage of acceptance, people learn to accept and handle the death of their dear ones . They start to adapt themselves to the reality and learn to move on in their lives amidst the loss of their closed ones. In “Lament for a Son”, Wolterstorff informed the news of his son’s death to his family and consoled them to live as if his son was alive.
Wolterstorff found joy after the loss of his son through his faith in religion. It is the belief of resurrection that comforted Wolterstorff and compelled him to believe that he would reunite with his son one day . The author hopes that he would speak to his son one day when Gods will reign on the planet. Wolterstorff also believes that God laments with grieving people and consoles them. He reminded Jesus Christ’s saying that God is love and love causes suffering . Wolterstorff also believed that his suffering due to the loss of his son implies that God is also suffering for the same loss.
Christianity considers death in a distinct perspective. According to the Bible, death is Christians’ transition point, which transports them from earthly life to God’s internal life . Through death, the soul leaves human body and becomes the origin through which God assures eternity to Christians. As such, in the context of Christian narrative, death is a crucial stage through which the soul becomes immortal and leaves the mortal body . Christians receive the optimum gift of sharing an eternal life alongside God through death. Furthermore, according to the Bible, death is the symbol that guides a soul towards the eventual bequest of perpetual life. On the contrary, the Bible also considers death as an enemy whose last conqueror is God.
In the context of Christianity, resurrection refers to the rising of the dead ones on the Day of Judgment . The Bible considers the event of Jesus Christ’s return from death as the resurrection. The hope of resurrection played a critical role in consoling Wolterstorff. It helped to calm down the author as he believed that he would reunite with his son in the future. Wolterstorff was also hopeful that his son is not in eternity and that day is not too long when he would meet his son again . However, Wolterstorff was disappointed that he let his son down due to which he felt that he should meet him on the judgment day and apologize to him. Wolterstorff consoled himself with the hope that resurrection offers the opportunity of meeting their loved ones lost to death, which in turn helped the author to anticipate union with his son in the matter of time .
References
Patricelli, K., & Dombeck, M. (n.d.). Stage of Grief Models: Kubler-Ross. Retrieved 03 28, 2016, from Grief and Bereavement Issues: http://www.amhc.org/58-grief-bereavement-issues/article/8444-stage-of-grief-models-kubler-ross
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Wolterstorff, N. (2009). Lament for a Son. Grand Rapids, MI: William B. Eerdmans Publishing Company.
