Introduction
While the beginning of a relationship may feel exciting and effortless, long-term relationships are determined by application of efforts and compromising luxuries by both the partners in the relationship. Couples are advised to build healthy relationships during their early stages of dating all in a bid to solidify the foundation for a long-term relationship. This can be achieved by devising strategies that appreciate and respect partners by observing the little things a partner does or says. Exploring one another’s interests is also a good plan to know a list of things that couples can enjoy together while in a relationship. Sometimes, establishing apology patterns in the event that one makes a mistake is vital. Relationships that have lasted more than a few months are susceptible to little misunderstandings that a serious partner should find credible and reliable measures of solving. This implies that stable relationships are founded on credible conflict resolution techniques.
As a relationship progresses, couples need to recognize some fundamental basics of courtship. The most inevitable concept of a relationship is change and is determined by the period a relationship has lasted. Couples are bound to realize slight changes in their relationship as time elapses and it is important that they perceive the change as positive. Thereafter, partners are supposed to embrace the change by aligning it to what they need for this relationship. As such, partners in a relationship will realize that it is fruitful to embrace change positively as opposed to preventing change from taking effect. Another important aspect of an aging relationship is periodical checking in. Partners should occasionally brainstorm on their courtship goals and expectations. This promotes the discussion of hefty relationship issues that might plunge their relationship into rocky waters without their knowledge and infidelity stands tall amongst all the relationship issues. This brings us to the topic of this paper’s discussion; infidelity.
Is it difficult to be faithful? This is question is relative because it depends on how couples tackle it. Instead of answering this question, reframing would make it more understandable in this context. If being a faithful partner in a relationship is easy, why then do many people cheat? This is a major relationship killer that is rarely talked about by many couples. People always fail to recognize the fact that infidelity is relationships should be comprehensively discussed between partners of a relationship in order to identify the possible internal and external causes. Through this, a relationship in the verge extinction may be restores before it is too late.
While talking about infidelity in relationships, one ought to be attentive of the fact that this relationship menace does not only involve the physical encounters, but also some mental encounters. In most occasions, people limit their perception of infidelity to physical involvements alone. However, some cases of infidelity are mental and can only be averted by openness and occasional discussion. People overlook some kind of indiscretions that have been excused for a long time until they have become inevitable. These include simple issues like inappropriate likes and pokes on Facebook, pictures one has no business viewing on Facebook, an inappropriate text to an X despite being in another relationship and as little things as overlooked flirtatious behaviors from a person of interest.
The question of whether being faithful is easy has, in the past, sparked heated discussions. Most people argue that avoiding infidelity is easy especially if one is in a stable relationship. So does it mean that the faithful partners in a relationship have stronger moral resolves or codes of ethics as compared to the unfaithful people? Similarly, does the fact that unfaithful people in relationships have no codes of ethics make them permanent cheaters? If so, asking cheaters to stop is, therefore, a futile effort to stop infidelity. The complexity exhibited by this topic brings us to identifying the real causes of infidelity instead of making dismissive statements.
Infidelity and Lee’s six styles of love
For the purposes of this paper, the discussion of infidelity and its exhibition in two relationship movies is narrowed down to Lee’s six styles of love. These styles of love are Greek words with clear synonymy to pillars of a healthy relationship. They include three primary levels of love and three secondary levels of love. The primary levels of love include eros love that translates to passionate love. Eros lovers are thought to be passionate, and their relationship is founded on an exciting nature of sex and love. The other primary style of love is ludus which is typically a relationship full of fun and few commitments. Lovers in this style of love are playful and flirtatious. Lastly, storge also falls in the primary styles of love according to Lee. This is the type of affection that emerges from a longtime casual friendship. According to Lee, secondary styles of love include mania, pragma and agape. The mania type of love is driven by the practicability of issues related to it and not emotions while pragma is the type of love where the prospective benefits of a relationship are given weight, as opposed to emotional attraction. These may include social status and education. Agape love, on the other hand, is a spiritual or divine love that offers intrinsic contentment.
In this movie, we come across Margot, a freelance writer, who is married to an impassionate Lou. Margot is seen spending a lot of time basking and enjoying the warm glow from the sun through the window while wondering why her husband is not concerned with giving her the warmth and is instead preoccupied with other irrelevant issues. This makes Margot emotionally detached from her husband and begins to fantasize on the possibilities of receiving her desired attention from another man.
When she meets Daniel in a plane, they immediately exchange chemistry. They also share a taxi after alighting from the plane and realize that they come from the same neighborhood. The duo then become fond of each other and end up meeting secretly for dates while Lou is stirring his chicken tetrazzini. When they go for an underwater ballet, Daniel performs a verbal foreplay for Margot who then realizes what she had been missing. Despite the fact that Lou and Margot have a completely happy relationship, it is evident that Margot is unsatisfied with her husband’s unromantic love and finally leaves him to be with Daniel. Lou is saddened by this move but yet still understands Margot. However, Margot’s alcoholic sister, Geraldine, does not understand her sister’s course of action and confronts her. Just as expected, Margot refuses to go back to Lou.
An Unmarried Woman
The ‘An Unmarried Woman’ is an American drama film with a 1978 setup directed and written by the famous Paul Mazursky. The movie was released in 2006 and has since been nominated for a number of awards including the renowned Academy Awards. This movie tells the story of a rich New York wife whose life is smashed to smithereens when her husband, Martin, cheats on her with a younger woman. The plot of the movie shows an admirable perfect life of Erica Benton that was shuttered by her husband’s continued infidelity that led to a divorce.
The movie shows Erica’s mental torture when her husband suddenly breaks the news that he is in love with another woman and that their purported happy marriage is over. No matter how much support Erica gets from her three best friends, she still finds it very rough to move on plunges into alcoholism. Even though this does not help much, she goes on with it until she decides to see a psychiatrist for psychological assistance. The medical practitioner then explains to her that men are surely major causes of women’s problems but are not the enemy women make them look.
It is from here that Erica gets encouraged to open up to another man. She then meets a British artist whom she falls right in love with and becomes happy again. She gloriously submits herself to the love that does not only involve great sex but also repeated walks in the empty streets.
Examples of the topic from two films
Infidelity and its ultimate consequence are vividly shown in these two relationship movies. In both cases, the marriages end up broken either because of lack of faithfulness as in the case of Erica and Martin or the urge for romance that a partner fails to get like in the case of Margot and Lou. Erica and her cheating husband Martin are forced to divorce after Martin confesses to being in love with another younger lady. Likewise, Margot and Lou separate after Margot gets into a relationship with Daniel because she is not getting much attention and romance from her husband Lou.
Just as already mentioned before in the paper, infidelity can be addressed by couples in a relationship before it eventually leads to a breakup. It is important to note that Margot and Lou could have talked their problems out so as to come to an agreement on how to go about it. The fact that they had been married for some time is an indicator that they once had feelings for one another and could still salvage something from their dwindling relationship. This applies to Erica and Martin, as well. Their seventeen-year old marriage ought not to have come to an end due to infidelity. However, this could have happened only if they talked about it and came to an agreement.
Conclusion
Infidelity is common thereby invalidating the sentiments that “being faithful is not hard”. While talking about infidelity in relationships, one ought to be attentive of the fact that this relationship menace does not only involve the physical encounters, but also some mental encounters. Therefore, couples should be more open to discussing their indiscretions as a way of devising measures to avoid such tempting relationship killers. A proper understanding of infidelity as a relationship topic is pivotal in saving relationships from disintegrating. If discussed during its inception by partners of a relationship, there is a high chance that the partners will reevaluate reasons why this could be happening and device strategies and come up with routines that will alienate chances of engaging in infidelity in the future.
