Diversity among the Arab people is apparent and has led to differences in the patterns of events of a marriage. But, the larger population of the Arabs are still Muslims. Until this modern day, the Arab wedding still follows an extravagant series of event before the marriage. A traditional Arabic Wedding usually starts with the meeting of the two families. An Islamic Wedding requires consent on both the groom and the bride. The bride, together with his family, is welcomed in their house. The presence of the family is required as it maintains the purity between them.
The diversity between the marriages in the Arabia is not only because of the differences in religion but also because of the wide regions it has. The wedding ceremonies vary from one region to another. Although there are variations between Arab weddings, it follows a common line of events. This includes the proposal, engagement, Henna, Nikah, Registration, Reception and Valima, Rukhsti, and Honeymoon. Nikah and Valima are the requirements in an Islamic Wedding, whereas the others are all traditional except for the Registration which is a legal matter.
Even at modern times, marriages are still usually arranged for Muslims. This is a “cultural norm” and is not something forced to the children, but is actually done with their full consent. According to Zuberi, love is “planted” and anticipated and will continue to “bloom” as the married couple goes on. Couples are not just paired but their supposed life together is examined. Families gather round and decide on potential characters of the spouse in terms of values and characteristics. Because families are known to be close and to know each other very well, it is given upon to them the decision on whom a family member should marry. In all, it is necessary that the couple arranged for marriage live a satisfying life.
There are several types of arranged marriage in the Arab culture. First, the child marriage is the arrangement of wedding between two babies from the day they were born or just when they are children. They are promised to each other and when the right time and age comes, they will be married to each other. These are the usual marriage wherein the couple hasn’t seen each other at all before the wedding day. Another type is the exchange marriage. This form means an exchange of spouse between tribes or nations. In this type of marriage, a “symmetrical arrangement” is created (New World Encyclopedia). The third type is the diplomatic marriage, which is arranged according to political desires. This is usually between the heads of tribes or cultural groups. Another is the introduction –only marriage. The couple is introduced personally found through personal recommendation or a website. Of course the use of matchmakers and websites is more common in modernized cultures. In conventional or traditional cultures, it is the families that search for the match. When the arrangement is between two consenting adults, this becomes another type of marriage called the lov-cum-arranged marriage. Take note that the word cum is the Latin for “together with”.
Although the term “arranged marriage” still brings some controversies among human-rights conservationist, this is traditionally accepted between the couples. This is because the Islam forbids meeting alone between unmarried and unrelated men and women. Also, bear in mind that “arranged marriage” is not the same with “forced marriage”. The Islamic Law prohibits marriage between unwilling couples. They believe that marriage should not be oppressive and abusive. Marriage in Arabs require ijab and qubul, meaning proposal and acceptance
There are certain requirements to be met before marriage in Arabs can proceed. First, the marriage proposal; like other cultures, asking the bride’s parents for her hand in marriage is a must. Having the blessing of the family is one of the most important aspects of a marriage to work, especially for traditional ones. Mostly, arranged marriages are a result of having an extended family. The couple thinks that the marriage is not only for them, but is also the unity of a much bigger community. A marriage proposal usually goes like this, the groom’s parent and relatives goes to the bride-to-be’s house and formally asks for her hand. When the family of the bride agrees, there will be a reading of the Qur’an. The families will read the its first chapter known as the Surah Fatiha. Sharbat, a beverage prepared from flowers or fruit, will also be served. In the more conservative families, the proposal usually does not include the groom. But in modern times, it has sometimes been practiced that after asking for permission from the bride’s family, the groom then proposes to the bride. Together with this, the groom’s family gives tokens, in the form of money or jewellery, as a “gesture that they are committed”.
After the proposal in which the wedding is planned, the engagement follows. This is not an Islamic requirement, although practiced mostly in the western countries. An engagement can be as simple even where the couple announces their wedding. It can be a simple or an even more formal one. Each of the couple’s families and friends can be there. Customs still vary between families, for the richer ones, exchange of rings or gifts take place during an engagement. Some offers prayers in order to bless the coming marriage.
The third event that follows the line of events in an Arab Marriage is the Henna night. Henna, also known as Mehndi is a tradition that varies between regions. In the Indian sub-continent, the Mehndi is a skin decoration drawn in the hands and palms of the bride. In Palestine, it is a celebration that takes place nights before the wedding to prepare all the necessary things needed for the wedding. In the Arabic region, traditionally, this is a celebration where ladies only partake. It is actually similar to a bachelorette party. It is done in the bride’s home and all her female friends and family members join her. The important element in a henna night is the presentation of the bride’s and groom’s clothes. The bride’s gown is usually hand-made and embroidered called an ithyab, while the groom wears an Arab men’s thobe and a head covering known as a hata. Sometimes, especially with the well-off families, the groom brings the Mehndi and sweets to the bride. The groom’s family can be seen dancing the streets to the bride’s house. The formalized version in the modern times of the event follows a potluck or dining in a restaurant.
The next requirement for an Arab wedding is now the actual wedding ceremony or the Nikah. An Imam often preside this ceremony because it is an official rite in the Muslim community. Even if the Nikah can be held in a reception hall or in the groom’s house, it is still preferred to be done in the mosque. Inside the mosque, men and women sit apart from each other like the usual way when they pray. There will be witnesses from the bride’s side to go with the Imam in signing the wedding registration documents or it can be just the witnesses. After signing, the Imam leads the Nikah through a short sermon for the couple which is called the khutbah. The bride’s father or guardian will be asked for his permission of the wedding. Then, the Imam will return to the groom to ask him if he will fulfil his duties as a husband. This involves paying the Mahr which is a gift or dowry to the bride’s family. After this, a dua or prayer is offered to the new couple and then they will be asked to share something sweet.
After the wedding, the registration for the couple will commence. Although it still depends from the state where they live, it is usually a three-stage process. First, the bride and groom will sign papers and pay fees in the registrar. This is also where the bride decides if she will retain her last name or change it with his husband’s. In the Muslim community, it is not required for the bride to change her last name. The second step has taken place during the Nikah where the couple signed their papers. Lastly, the papers are returned and now the marriage is legal and valid.
The next ceremony in an Arab marriage includes the reception and the Valima. After the marriage, a zaffa or a procession is held to announce the wedding of the couple. Holding the reception for the marriage varies in different regions. In most culture, the bride’s family usually pays for the reception, but for the Arabs it is the groom’s family who pays for the reception. The Valima is the wedding banquet held at the reception. Following the Valima, the Rukhsti is the bride’s farewell to his family. She will be escorted to the groom’s car and prayers are offered for a healthy and bountiful life for the couple. The couple will head straight for their honeymoon, because this is a special occasion for both, the destination of the couple is usually Mecca. The honeymoon is the time for the couple to know each other, since most of these marriages are arranged and the couple knows very little or nothing about each other.
Marriage between Arabs is not necessary to be extravagant, but tradition and culture must be followed to ensure good life between couples. It is also the way for families to ensure the safety of their children, especially for the bride. The long ceremonies are only the start of life for the couples.
Work Cited
“10 Muslim Wedding Events: From Proposal to Honeymoon”. Perfect Muslim Wedding. perfectmuslimwedding.com. n.d. Web. 7 Dec 2014.
“Arranged Marriage”. New World Encyclopedia. newworldencyclopedia.org. n.d. Web. 7 Dec 2014.
Zuberi, Hena. “Arranged Marriage is not Forced Marriage”. Muslimmatters.org. Muslimmatters.org 22 Dec 2011. Web. 7 Dec 2014.
