Summary
A conversation is a two way traffic-listening and talking. For the conversation to be effective and successful, both the ways have to be balanced. In fact, listening should happen more than speaking. A good conversation involves other essential elements too. While listening, the mind, without any pre-conceived notion, needs to be focussed on the conversation. No matter how the conversation is, there is always an element of learning in it as every person has something special to contribute. As listening requires more concentration, the mind may ramble and entertain many thoughts, so the incoming thoughts should be allowed to go out instantly. Besides this, ignorance about any topic should be admitted, plus there is no need to equate the experience of one side with the others. Not repeating what others person say is also recommended during the conversation. By following the above rules, a conversation can lead to a pleasant surprise.
Treat every conversation as a learning experience (The first Takeaway)
Every conversation presents an opportunity to learn something new. This necessitates the mind to be free of any prior impression or prejudice. On the contrary, if the mind is filled with the preconceived beliefs, there will hardly be any space left for the fresh thoughts to enter and stay in the mind. Not only this, there will be a conflict between what is already there and what is trying to be there. In view of this, it is necessary to see the positive and negative examples of a conversation.
The worst form of a conversation is when it culminates in an argument. The most appropriate example of such conversation taking an ugly shape is the debate between the two politicians. They already have the prior intention of opposing each other and therefore, try their best to prove their opponent wrong during the debate. No wonder, the so-called conversation leads to an argument and ends up with a heated exchange. Thus, mixing personal opinions can act as a spoilsport.
An ideal conversation can be compared with an interview, where the interviewer asks a question and patiently waits for the response. The more the interviewer is patient and receptive, the better will be the response from the interviewee, serving the purpose of the interview. Therefore, the mind should be prepared and conditioned to listen with patience. Needless to say, a keen listening can get the best out of the conversation.
Let the personal opinion stay suppressed (The second takeaway)
Listening is an integral part of the conversation and it requires an undivided concentration on the part of the listener. But it is easier said than done. The mind happens to be the most unstable organ in a human body, as it entertains the thoughts continuously. It can be best compared with a screen where the images keep coming and going continuously. It’s a natural process that should not be disturbed. Only thing to be kept in mind is not to let any thought stay for long because that will cause an impression, which will interfere with what is being said. The moment a thought turns into an impression, one should remind oneself that the learning will get upset if the impression is allowed to persist.
Another disadvantage of harping on a particular thought is that the listener will lose the track of the conversation. And once it becomes known to the speaker that the other person is not interested in listening, the whole process of communication will break down, achieving nothing. It should always be remembered that a conversation happens with a purpose and for learning, and the best can be achieved only by suppressing the desire to intervene. In brief, subordinating one’s own opinion is a key to the success of a conversation.
