Introduction:
The individual nominated for this life-story interview is AJ. He is a family friend who was born in Alexandria in Egypt. He was born on the ninth day of November in the year 1956 thus making him 54 years old. He currently resides in Waterbury, CT with his wife of 19 years. He is also blessed with three children with whom He lives with: 16 years old, 12 years old, and 10 years old. However, unfortunately, he could have had four children since he lost a daughter at a tender age of 4 days and if she were alive today, she could be 15 years old. AJ has not always lived in Waterbury, CT. When the couple first got married, they lived in a small apartment. They moved to the beautiful area of Waterbury after buying a house there.
Educationally, He graduated as social worker in Egypt and worked there as a social worker before moving to the US where he has been working as a fulltime bartender at Waterbury Restaurant. He has been working there for the past 21 years and he is content with his life.
Life Chapters:
In order to make the interview more readable, the subject has chosen several chapters that he feels best summarize the story of his life.
Growing Up
AJ was born on November 9, 1956, in Alexandra, a big city in Egypt with a charming old city and famous pyramids. His parents had moved to Alexandria after the Second World War, when several individuals relocated within Egypt searching for improved economic prospects. His mother’s parents were farmers in a small Town East Egypt, and his father grew up in Memmingen, a small city in the southern part of Egypt, where his parents had a shop.
He had a childhood of peace and stability, contrary to his parents’ who had matured amidst the inconsistencies of war. When he was about three, they moved from Alexandria to the village of Eppelbarat, three kilometres away, where his parents still reside. He had an older brother Gunnar, 2 years older, and a younger sister Mariam, three and a half years younger.
“My parents toiled hard to offer safety and wealth for our family,” he said. His father initially worked with an oil and coal allotment company as a trainee but retired as a one of the directors. His mother ran the household and cared for the children; later, she managed a small business distributing first-aid products. In their family, work was not regarded as absolute requirement, but as an important attribute and gratifying aspect of life.
His parents supported all our interests in education. However, his father had hesitation in supporting some aspects of music and sports. For instance, AJ recalled at the age of seven, when he was chosen to act in a play from the school, his father did not let him citing that “actors were part of a different class who drank and took drugs”. However, his mother let him without his father knowledge. AJ ended up winning and was placed first in the country.
At the age of14 years, AJ had his first love, a girl she met at his drum class, and dated her until his graduation. As it was customary in Egypt for a bridegroom to pay a bride price in the case of marriage, AJ went to ask her father for her hand in marriage. However, her father asked him for a big amount of money that he could not afford at that moment. He did not agree to this amount and this resulted to the couple breaking up.
In high school, he became the leader of Boy Scout for the country. He made his first international Boy Scout jamboree where he was able to mingle with other boy scout from all over the world.”I really had a good experience in that everyone had to share their experiences”.
Later, He joined a famous university in Egypt at the age of 18 and studied social science before graduating as social worker. He worked a little in Egypt before he met a friend who introduced him to America. He later immigrated to the US at the age of 31 in December 1987.
Starting a Family
Life in the US at first was a fairy tale as he had imagined. Starting an independent life in a new country was a formative experience. The degree he had was not helpful enough, however, through his friend he managed to get job as a waiter at a famous hotel. However, before this, he started off as a busboy before going to school to be a bartender.
At his 35-birthday party, he met his current wife. They instantly fell in love and soon after started dating. They dated for six months before AJ romantically asked her to be his wife one evening at a posh hotel in Las Vegas. Nine months later, they had their first baby. Now that AJ was used to the US, he managed to secure a nice job as a waiter in a Waterbury restaurant. The job was well paying and since they loved children, the two lovebirds decided to have another baby.
However, the fourth day after her birth, she passed away due to medical birth complications. They were both really saddened and depressed that they kept off adding the family size for almost three years, when they were blessed through the introduction of another baby, though as an “accident” says AJ. Two years later, they added their latest born to the world. By now, they had moved from the small apartment to a bigger house in the beautiful region of Waterbury.
Critical Events: Peak Experience
Critical Events: Nadir Experience
When asked to define the lowest point in his life, AJ does not waver to state, “When we lost our daughter”. AJ and his wife had just started to live the American dream when disaster beckoned. After waiting for nine months, he had been blessed by a baby girl. However, she was born a bit prematurely. The doctors assured them that she would make it since it was not a grave situation. On the fourth day after delivery, still in an incubator, there was a massive power shortage. This was unexpected so the incubators were left an attended for about 10 minutes. ”This made life unbearable for little Jenny since she could not breathe on her own. She succumbed to the pressure and passed on to a better place.” “The hospital decided to call on me first before telling my wife since she was still frail from giving birth. This was the longest and worst day of my life. The phone call was the worst call I have ever received.” He said. Jenny’s demise was by all means AJ’s lowest point in his life. However, the most painful thing was that this could have been avoided. There was negligence in the part of the practitioners and the hospital in general. They were so distorted that, for a while, the two refused to bear more children. His wife was also diagnosed with depression for almost six months. However, she managed to fight through it via the help of a series of AA meetings and AJ’s undying love.
Critical Events: Turning Point
“As I have said, after Jenny’s death we were really down. All we could do is mourn and think what if. Even Alex my son was sad even though he was just a year old.” “The turning point came about two years later when although by accident, we were blessed to have Jenny (another child).” The arrival of the second child made the couple alive again and though as luck, her wife won a lottery the same year. She later used the proceeds to start a florist business, which has since expanded to a global company.
Critical Events: Earliest Memory
AJ recalls his father running over a dog the day his younger sister was brought home from hospital for the first time. “At the time my younger sister was delivered and arrived home from the hospital, I was only 3 years old. My uncle was babysitting my older brother and I at the house. We visited the mini store at Mohammed Street that day in my father's white Toyota and run into a hound dog. The dog stood and staggered away painfully. I have told of this story this several times and my Mother chimes in with me that Mariam came home in a hamper with an indigo band and my father bears in mind knocking over the dog”.
Critical Events: Important Childhood Scene
AJ recalls the evenings he used to have as winter beckoned, the time around the Christmas holiday season. “As the evenings are now well and truly closing in and winter's chill bites at our noses I thought I'd share with you one of my happiest childhood memories from that season. I am recollecting a Christmas not because of the customary actions linked with this celebratory period, however purely for a most truly memorable stroll I engaged through a gorgeous snow-covered Mubarak Park. It was a couple of days into the New Year and merely a few days remained of the school vacation. At this phase, time was moving in what approximately felt like in sluggish movement”. “A superb view meets my eyes. Throughout the night, there has been a grave drop of snow. Our avenue looks like a sight from one of those traditional Christmas cards portraying pictures of snow-roofed tops, smoulder whirling from high vent pots. During the night, our park has been changed into a snowy wonderland. There is nobody in sight and as I stroll down the noise of chomping snow under my feet is unadulterated music to my ears. I start to envisage I am in a different world.” I will forever bear in mind that daybreak. It is one of the thrilling instances of my infancy”.
Critical Events: Important Adolescent Scene
The adolescent memory that stands out the most to AJ occurred when he was fourteen years old and a freshman in high school. He recalls being in drum class and was sitting next to a girl she had a crash on. “This girl I had a crush on for years. That day in that drum class, I was passed a note from him by one of the cool dudes in school of which I was not one. The note said. 'Will you go out with me?' I was so thrilled that I wrote back 'I don't know.' No more notes were passed, but she was waiting at the door for me at the end of class. What did he say as I walked up to him? 'April fools!' It was April fool’s Day, and I was traumatized by the whole experience. The girl did end up genuinely apologizing for what she had done, and we started dating.
Critical Events: Important Adult Scene
The adult memory that stands out the most to AJ occurred when he was thirty-five years old and it was his birthday. It was the first time that he had seen a beautiful woman whom he quickly adored and wanted to marry. He says that his current wife, the girl in this picture, was seated with her legs crossed wearing a greenish evening dress that clanged to every inch of her body. He had not seen her before and that is why he asked his friend to hook him up. As he was advancing her for the hook up, he could believe it was him, “My hands were shaking one could think I had a nervous illness in addition to my sweaty hands. I felt like exploding,” he said.
As they started talking, AJ knew right then that, this woman was to be her wife. It was then that he asked her out. At first she declined, but eventually subdued after constant nagging and pursuit by AJ. This what he always recalls.
Life Challenge
The most challenging part of AJ‟s life was having to go through the death of Jenny. When coping with a death, one may go through all kinds of emotions. He was sad, anxious, and frightened. He was stunned, unprepared, and perplexed. He felt angry, resentful, responsible, tired, and just plain empty. Both his wife and his emotions got stronger and deeper than usual. They were unbearable and this almost trickled down to their only child as per that moment. They had trouble concentrating, sleeping, or eating when they were coping with her death. His wife lost interest in activities they used to enjoy. They had almost died for not for the child’s sake. However, they managed to pull back through several series of AA and therapy. The love they had for each other also played an important role in their rejuvenation.
Influences on the Life Story: Positive
The most positive influence on AJ’s life story was definitely his mother. She encouraged him in doing things that most people including his father did not approve of. Especially when he was only seven, when he acted in a play and won a nationwide title. Although indirectly, it was his mother who showed him to always follow his heart no matter the negative reactions he might get. That is why he became a scout leader in high school and took the risk of the comfort in Egypt and came to America for greener pasture. “I believe it was her (mother) who made me a man I am today. I have a family and a beautiful wife I love. I am content with what I have.”
Influences on the Life Story: Negative
The most negative influence on AJ’s life story is absolutely the death of her daughter. This made him almost lose everything including his wife.
Stories and the Life Story: Stories Watched
Mass Media do not incline to influence AJ much. He does not even have a favourite movie, although he loves field of dreams. As a boy, he loved watching epic movies. He really loved the imagery of the movie and how they give you “such a strong feeling of good and bad with the different lightings.” The one impact that it has had on her is that it has enhanced his creativity and increased his passion for theatre.
Stories and the Life Story: Stories Read
AJ could only think of one book he has read and has influenced his life. The book is Ben Carson’s Thinking Big. “This has made me think openly to many situations and has helped me solve a lot of problems. It made me cope with the death of Jenny and sacrifice my degree for a bartender job. From the book, I have learn to be content with what I have and try to improve on it”
Stories and the Life Story: Stories Heard
The most interesting story that AJ has heard throughout her life is the story that his father used to tell her about his brother. The story goes that his uncle was nicknamed “Stardust” because he used to sing that song on the radio. The uncle was a very “sweet spirit” and was just a very genuine loving person. He was however lost his first born child to small pox. He could not cope with the death that one night he went out and drank himself silly. Intoxicated badly, he got knocked by a car and died instantly.
Alternative Futures for the Life Story: Positive
The main thing that AJ would like to happen in the future is to see that all his kids have a college degree. He wants his kids to take care of him and his wife when they retire and he wants leave behind a legacy that he managed to educate all is children. “I want to leave a piece of me behind.” He would also want to travel with his wife all over the world for her.
Alternative Futures for the Life Story: Negative
The worst possible outcome for AJ would be if he loses another child. He says that going through that was the most difficult thing that he ever had to go through and he definitely does not want to do it again. “It almost destroyed my life.”
Personal Ideology:
Describe briefly your religious beliefs or the ways in which you approach life in a spiritual sense.
AJ articulates that he has a “cavernous faith in God”. He believes in Mohammed, he is a Muslim. He believes in Islam and states that Islam as religion made him disciplined and he thanks God for that.
Please describe how your religious or spiritual life, values, or beliefs have changed over time.
While in Egypt he says they used to follow sheria law, where the rule of a tooth for tooth or an eye for an eye prevails. However, in America “things are a little less tight. One can be convicted for stealing and his hand is not cut off.
How do you approach political and social issues? Do you have a particular political point of view? Are there particular issues or causes about which you feel strongly? Describe them.
AJ does not classify himself, as a democrat or republican but simply votes for who he thinks is best for the country. He does not like abortion because he feels that “it is not the baby‟s fault” and “the baby should have a chance to live.” He also sees serious issues with genocide and does not agree with it at all! He sees no reason in killing innocent people because of their ethnicity or where they live. “People believe what they want to believe, they should have that choice.”
What is the most important value in human living? Explain.
AJ feels that the most important value is life preservation. This ties into how she feels about genocide being wrong. “Human life should be cherished because it is a gift, it is precious.” Anyone dying from any unnatural cause really bothers her.
What else can you tell me that would help me understand y our most fundamental beliefs and values about life and the world, the spiritual dimensions of your life, or your philosophy of life?
Basically AJ says that he is a very religious person and at the same time very down to Earth. He feels “more connected to the planet because of my spirituality.” AJ believes that “there are a lot of things that we just do not understand.” He also believes that “the body is just what we live in here on Earth.”
Life Theme
AJ feels that “life is really about people” and that you should never “judge a book by its cover.” In his life, he has known very ugly people who were beautiful inside and very beautiful people who were ugly inside. He stresses the importance of “knowing people on the inside.”
Theoretical and Research Considerations
When psychologists discuss the term personality, they are describing the aspects of a person that are lasting, continuous, and stable. If one is violent now, the probability is high he or she will be violent in future. Therefore, the personality discussions are focussed on constant traits (DiCaprio, 1983). In addition, personality can be described as that trait that transpires in a broad diversity of situations (DiCaprio, 1983). A violent individual will be inclined to be so in many diverse conditions.
Many people employ the word personality to recognize the most noticeable trait of a person or to categorize that person's according to his or her social abilities. Psychologists are principally concerned with Personality in a bid to elucidate why individuals with analogous genetics, experience, and inspiration might respond in a different way in the matching circumstances; and to explicate why individuals with dissimilar genetics, past occurrences, and/or inspiration might nonetheless react correspondingly in the similar circumstance. The study of personality engages numerous features of human conduct. The theories of personality categorize what people do recognize, motivate new studies, and officially identify an analysis of personality. Four groupings of such theories have been identified; they include psychoanalytic, behavioural, social learning, trait, and humanistic analyses (DiCaprio, 1983).Three categories of trait theories that have been identified include typology, phrenology and the factor theory (DiCaprio, 1983). Psychoanalysis is the first contemporary theory of personality that is founded on the supposition that there are two fundamental constituents on which personality is founded: unconscious and psychic energy. Opening merely with the id, one forms an ego and a superego as the configuration of his or her personality (DiCaprio, 1983). Life and death intuitions demonstrate equilibrium amid violence and a pursuit of gratification.
As seen, psychologists have developed the discipline of personality development. They have presented various theories of development of a personality. According to Berglund, the term personality is the result of cultured conduct. This signifies that numerous traits are innate and several others are cultured. Some characteristics are owned via interaction of personalities within the society. An extremely significant factor in determining personality of a person is social interaction. In summary, significant theories of personality are Allport’s trait theory, Freud’s psychoanalytic theory, Maslow’s humanistic theory and Bandura’s social learning theory.
Every individual experiences development of different features of personality through different periods. Actually, the everyday good and dreadful occurrences form the personality of a person. From the above introduction, there are several theories of development of personality of a person. In this paper, I will adopt the case of renowned figure. Founded on the diverse theories of personality, I will investigate the aspects that added to the development of personality of the person.
AJ’s growth as a person has an extremely distinctive and appealing viewpoint in view of Psychological growth. He has had a wonderful childhood even though his father was not supportive in his quest to be an actor at seven his mother was there to allow him follow his dream. In view of personality, the broad, exclusive input of psychoanalytic theory is the proposition that a great deal of the account for human conduct, which is frequently peculiar and apparently conflicting, lies principally concealed in the unconscious, in addition to is the consequence of how an individual negotiates contradictory, entrenched needs and intuitions. Psychoanalytic theory perceives the early days of growth as formulating a significant input to the adult mind, depending on how assorted psychosexual phases are determined (Hall, 1978). This case study of this individual, AJ is an example. The combination of her good memories and her thriving life can be described on how he handled the anxiety and predicaments of which he met in his development as an individual.
Sigmund Freud portrayed numerous constituents that have been very powerful in comprehending personality. Freud acknowledged three diverse fractions of the psyche, rooted in stages of awareness; the conscious mind, the preconscious, and the subconscious level. According to Freud, behaviour is compelled straight from the latter. In addition, a person’s behaviours are the consequence of the id, the ego, and the superego and interactions. This generates variance, which produces apprehension, which directs to Defence Mechanisms. The Id holds the primal drives and functions consistent with the pleasure principle. This poses no genuine discernment of realism and seeks out to gratify its requirements via the primary processes (Hall, 1978). Different from the Id, the Ego is conscious of realism and therefore functions through the reality principle. This embraces the consequences of societal regulations that are essential to live and mingle with other people. On the other hand, The Super ego includes the principles and societal ethics, which frequently originate from the laws of right and wrong.
At the hub of Freud's psychosomatic configuration is the oppression of displeased instinctual requirements. An unconscious progression, repression is achieved via a sequence of defence machineries. Of interest, are the mechanisms of displacement, and projection. Since Life is hard; numerous pains, disenchantments, and unfeasible undertakings, to tolerate it, one cannot bestow with analgesic gauges. From the case study, the individual endured the loss of his child and managed to form a bigger happy family. It is safe to conclude that by repressing his experiences created some of his defence mechanisms that brought him to where he is.
Marlow’s Humanistic claims that one's personality is founded in any case partly, by the decisions one makes. It scrutinizes each person as exclusive and sighting the world from diverse viewpoints. It centres on how peripheral stimulus influences one's conduct, with diminutive or no attentiveness on one's character traits or the inspirations influencing one's conduct (Mischel, 1981). Humanistic theory authorizes that others who put stipulations on one’s significance can influence an individual’s personality, unconstructively changing one's character esteem (Nevid & Rathus, 2005). Psychologists consider that human nature comprises an innate force to personal development that a person has the liberty to decide on what they do in spite of ecological issues. In addition, humans are typically conscious beings and are not restricted by unconscious wants and disagreements. The individual personality development can be attributed to this perspective. Psychologically, AJ may have preferred to be demoralized and livid at life. Actually, he illustrated signs of upheaval at some point by almost losing his family.
References
DiCaprio, N. S. (1983). Personality Theories: A Guide to Human Nature, 2nd ed. Holt, Rinehart, Winston. Provides expanded coverage of each of the theorists discussed in this chapter, and discusses a number of related theorists. Well illustrated; written in an engaging, educational style.
Hall, C. S. (1978}. A Primer of Freudian Psychology. New American Library. A good review of Freud's work, analyzing the impact of psychoanalysis on more modern theories of personality.
Mcadams, P., (2006) The Problem of Narrative Coherence, Journal of constructivist psychology
Mischel, W. (1981). Introduction to Personality, 3rd ed. Holt, Rinehart & Winston. Examines trait, psychodynamic, behavioural, and self-growth (humanistic) theories and how these theories are applied in psychotherapy. Covers effects of televised aggression and sex bias on personality.
Nevid, J. S., & Rathus, S. A. (2005). Psychology and the challenges of life: Adjustment in the new millennium (9th Ed.). Hoboken, NJ: John Wiley & Sons.
Pals, L (2006) Narrative Identity Processing of Difficult Life Experiences, Journal of Personality
