Introduction
Communication is a very important tool in letting people know about one's thoughts and feelings. It connects people whether positively or negatively. However, a common misconception is how communication is limited to verbal expressions only. People make decisions and assumptions based on what they hear and ignore non-verbal cues they receive and observe from others. In as much as verbal communications are important, understanding and interpreting non-verbal reactions, expressions, voice tone, and body language, among others, are also crucial communication tools that must be taken into account when communicating with others.
Forms and Principles of Demonstrative Communication
Non-verbal communication includes facial expressions, gestures, eye positions, body positioning during communication, and voice tone, among others (Cheesebro, O'Connor, & Rios, 2010, p. 88). People communicate in this manner consciously or unconsciously, thus, it is important to learn to discern the meanings behind the responses. Cheesebro et al. (2010) argued that "nonverbal communication is present everywhere and makes up the bulk of the messages" (p. 88) that one receives. Sometimes, it is the only form of communication needed to understand what a grieving friend is going through, for instance. However, despite the many manifestations of non-verbal communication, breakdowns in the communication process occur because those involved in the process "often do very little to learn and understand about nonverbal communication" (p. 88). These subtle cues often go undetected because of the inability to read between the lines or simply to interpret the actions. As this happens, a huge amount of information is missed along the process.
Another principle that further describes demonstrative communication is how messages are sent in advance of the spoken message (Cheesebro et al, 2010, p. 89). Often, body language and eye communication convey what the speaker really means especially when spoken words and non-verbal cues do not reinforce each other. For instance, a man who is turned down by the woman he pursues and feels bad about the situation may actually say he is fine and not bothered by what happened, although his body language shows a slumped posture and his eyes show a sad, expressionless look. The last principle relates to the previous one as it states that demonstrative communication is "about people's identities, their emotions, and their relationships" (Cheesebro et al, 2010, p. 89). How a person conducts himself in public, his actions, the way he dresses, and accessories used to enhance one's look, among others, all say a lot about the image an individual wants to project and communicate to others.
Effects of Demonstrative Communication
The question now is what effects does nonverbal communication have on other people? Does it enhance the communication process even more or does it create negative results for the sender and receiver of messages?
Understanding nonverbal cues is very important considering that they can be construed in many ways. It may be interpreted "in light of culture, status, gender, and personality traits" (Cheesebro et al, 2010, p. 91). A type of nonverbal cue that can mean different things is the sense of touch, also known as "haptics" (Cheesebro et al, 2010, p. 91). For instance, showing empathy to a friend could lead the sender of the message to lay a hand on the friend's shoulders or squeeze the shoulder. A parent who is admonishing a child could hold the kid on the shoulder while talking to him. Placing an arm around another person means "I am comfortable with you" and is typically done to someone the person has close relations with such as a relative or friend. A pat on the back could mean "a job well done" or just a manner of greeting. A woman who keeps on touching a man's arms or shoulders may be called "too forward" or a man who touches a woman constantly may be called a pervert or someone who makes inappropriate advances on women. Still, there are also those who are born "touchers" (Cheesebro et al, 2010, p. 92) and do not mind showing affection through hugs and touching gestures. Although it may seem like a normal reaction to communicate thoughts and feelings, touching may also offend other people especially when taken in another culture's interpretation of touch, especially if the culture is more conservative than other cultures such as Latin American countries where hugging and kissing are normal ways of greeting other people (Cheesebro et al, 2010, p. 92).
Depending on the intention of the sender, nonverbal communication methods may be positive or negative. It may also depend on the situation at hand. For instance, if a couple is fighting and one of them (sender of action) decides to remain quiet to refrain from speaking hurtful words, the other person (receiver of the action) could interpret it as a sign of inattention and inattentiveness to one's feelings. The same thing if one desists from touching the partner because the intensity of the touch could mean anger (if touch is forceful), love (tender touch), or aloofness (if touch is cold and detached). Thus, in such a case, use of verbal communication methods would be more appropriate. However, when showing compassion and understanding, words are generally not required anymore since the sense of touch and eye contact, or "oculesics" (Cheesebro et al, 2010, p. 91) are enough expressions of communication already.
Importance of Listening and Responding
In as much as sending the message clearly is important in effective nonverbal communication, listening and responding to the messages are essential aspects of the process as well. Typically, communication breakdown occurs when the message sent is not clear. However, it is also possible that the sent message is clear and concise, but the breakdown happens when interpreting the received message.
Conclusion
Demonstrative communication is an effective method of communicating one's thoughts and feelings. Thus, an individual should not focus only on verbal means to send a message across. To make the communication process more effective, one must display a thorough understanding of nonverbal forms of communication to interpret the actions and reactions correctly.
References
Cheesebro, T., O'Connor, L., & Rios, F. (2010). Communicating in the workplace. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Prentice Hall.
