The three areas I excel I are making a firm commitment to personal growth; owning my feelings and thoughts; and adapting and listening appropriately.
I can say that I excel at making a firm commitment to personal growth in that when I set my mind on achieving something, then I make sure I take the steps to achieve it. For example, it was my goal to overcome my shyness. Although I am quite assertive in school and in the workplace, I tend to be shy and not know what to say when in social situations such as in social gatherings. To overcome my shyness, I joined various groups on meetup.com, and I made sure to attend the events and meetups even if I felt very uncomfortable. I also forced myself to say hi to the people there even if it scared me. After several months of going to the meetups, I have realized that I have already become less shy and more sociable. I know this because I no longer dread going to the meetups and instead started enjoying going to them. I also find myself enjoying the conversations that I have with the people whom I meet.
Another area I excel in is owning my feelings and thoughts. I know that I excel in this because I have now learned to control my emotions where I become more self-reflective when misunderstandings and conflicts arise. For example, when a former boss questioned why I submitted a document on that day, instead of saying.. But you told me to submit it today,” I said, “I am confused. My understanding was that you needed the document today. Was my understanding incorrect?”
A third area where I excel in is adapting and listening appropriately. I know I excel in this because for example, when I go to concerts, I listen mindlessly to the lyrics. Since I know the lyrics by heart, I just focus on listening to the music and the singer’s voice. However, when I am listening to my teacher, I make sure that I listen carefully to every word being uttered.
My main barrier to self-disclosing is that I find it hard to trust people. I also do not know whether I should disclose something when I am not being asked to. To improve in this area, I will try to evaluate the situation and the person I am communicating with before I decide whether to disclose something or not. Based on this, I will decide what, when , and how to disclose (“6.4 Self-Disclosure and Interpersonal Communication,” n.d.). For example, if I am talking to a potential employer, then I should not share information about my romantic relationships, but I can do so if I am talking to my best friend. I will know that I am improving if I am able to engage in more meaningful conversations and if I am better able to establish trust with the other person (Barb, 2012).
My barrier to being mindful is that I easily get distracted by the noise around me, and I tend to imagine things beyond what the other person is saying. To improve on this, I will clear my head before I listen to ensure that I do not have anything else in my mind (Ballas-Ruta, 2015). I will also ensure that I keep eye-to-eye contact with the person to let them know they have my attention, and I will put myself in their perspective to better understand where they are coming from. I will know that I have improved in this area when I understand better and relate better to what the other person is saying and if my mind no longer wanders while listening.
Finally, my main barrier to active listening is that I like to comment on what the other person I s saying more than to listen. To improve on this, I will ask questions more than make comments and I will make sure to ask for clarification if I do not understand something (“Active Listening,” 2016). I know that I have improved if I am able to listen more than talk and to understand what the other person is saying.
References
Active listening. (2016). Retrieved from http://www.skillsyouneed.com/ips/active-listening.html
6.4 self-disclosure and interpersonal communication. (n.d.). Retrieved from
http://2012books.lardbucket.org/books/a-primer-on-communication-studies/s06-04-
self-disclosure-and-interperso.html
Ballas-Ruta, N.(2015). Effective communication with mindfulness. Retrieved from
http://thinksimplenow.com/communication/effective-communication-
mindfulness/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+
ThinkSimple+(Think+Simple+Now)
Barb. (2012, November 1). The skill of self-disclosure: what you need to know. Retrieved from
https://www.mastersincounseling.org/self-disclosure-what-you-need-to-know.html
