The Time I Changed To Who I Am Now Essays Example

This story takes place when I was 17 years old; my mom was admitted to the hospital and I remember how scared I was because I did not have any idea about what was going to happen to her as a result. I felt so hopeless and confused because I did not know what to do or even where to begin; I felt like I just wanted to break down and cry because there was so much beyond my control at that time. I kept going back to the hospital each day to check in on my mother to see how she was doing. Two months has passed. When I arrived at the hospital, I was told that my mother was in the ICU and I learned that same day that she was in a coma and has been for a very long time; two months to be precise. The doctor told me that based on the seriousness of her coma, and all that have happened; the doctor assured me that there was no more hope for her to recover or wake up out of the coma she was in; it was even said that death was knocking on her door. I realized at that point in time that it was a lot of stress for a 17 year old girl to take in the fact that her mother was on her possible deathbed, and the last thing I wanted was for my mother to die in the very hospital in which she went to get treatment for her condition before her coma. I did not know what to do with all of this new information that I received; it was a very scary, and sentimental not to mention uncertain time in my life. I felt like there was nothing that I could do for my mother at that point in time given her present situation, I also took the time to try to imagine what life would be like without her in it and the very thought of that made me break down because I did not want to live in a world where she did not exist.
I cried and prayed to the powers above saying please God, please do not take her yet; have mercy. I did this for several minutes after being completed left alone in my mother’s hospital room, and with my mother in a coma and my other family being so far away, I felt more alone than ever. Not long after that, some of the nurses came into the room and checked in on me and my mother. They knew all too well about the situation that I was in at that time, and they stood by me and reassured me that she is going to be okay. The nurses have seen coma victims, and in some cases like this one, monitored coma victims before. They told me that the doctor is not always right, and he has made some very faulty calculations like this before in the past so given that I felt a little better about the situation at hand. Before long I felt better, and did not feel like crying or hanging on false hope that my mother was going to live through this. In that moment, I felt like no matter how long it took, she was going to wake up out of that coma and tell me that the first thing she wants is a nurse to get her a tray; oh how happy I will be. Every day I went to see my mother in the hospital, and I stayed with her all day every day hoping she will wake up from her coma. During this time, I often talked to her like she was very much awake and hanging on to my every word. I often confided in her about how scared I was about the situation at hand, and even though she could not hear me or understand quite what I was saying, I still felt like she was there with me in the room. I also remember telling her about how I did not feel ready to become the head of the household because of personal issues that were going on with me at that time, it is sad how I felt like I could not step up to be what I was sure my mother knew I would eventually be; I felt like a bigger disappointment than the doctor who diagnosed that she would not wake up. I also felt like a failure as well because since I was the closest to my mother, I should have seen this coming; I am so DISGUSTED with my sense of weakness and lack of knowledge. I feel like I am to blame for this, and I would agree if someone else said so too.
Before my mother got sick, I lived a pretty selfish and reckless lifestyle. I did not do anything in the home, I did not help my mother out with groceries, I did not even lift a finger when she was visibly having those back problems, I did not care about anything or anybody; I was just a selfish, immature, reckless, self-centered and arrogant girl; I was unlike some of the other women my age. I thought it was cool to just live my life that way, not having a care about anything or anyone in the world; walking around like I was this invincible force on Earth. This was how I was then, but after everything that has happened; I have changed my life for the better. Even happier am I at the fact that my mother came out of her coma, I was like MOM, YOU’RE AWAKE! I hugged her with tears rolling down my face. It was a very magical moment because I thought she would never wake up from that coma and I’m glad that she did because I was losing my mind. I felt like a totally different person, like the powers above were giving me a second chance to clean up my act and leave the person I was 3 months ago behind. Nowadays, I do everything myself, I take care of the shopping and even run to the store to get things for my mother when she needs it; she is doing better now. I pay the bills and stay up to date and current on them so I do not get into default, I have even picked up the chores of the household, and I take very good care of my household. I bear all responsibility for everything that is going on in my life right now; my biggest fear was that I did not have any control over anything that was going on in my life back then. I take care of my mom and two sisters proudly; I wake up every day thanking the powers above for giving me and my family a second chance. I am the middle child that has been granted some pretty awesome responsibilities, 3 months ago was the hardest time in my life and I felt so stressed out and cornered that I did not know what to do. However, this situation has changed me and my family’s lives for the better but above all, it has changed my life for the better and I see the bigger picture for what it is; it is about family.