The Experience
I have experienced numerous situations in which I felt pressured to conform to rigid and idealistic gender stereotypes. Specifically, during my adolescent years, there was a prevailing stereotype that girls liked the aggressive, violent, and uncaring behaviors that their male counterparts exhibited. I was interested in a particular woman in my neighborhood, and I intended to start a serious love relationship with her. However, I was always shy; therefore, was unable to approach her. However, after learning the stereotype about girls as held by my peers, I decided to employ the method in my bid to win her affection. Consequently, whenever I was near her, I would become overly aggressive and violent. I could bully my male colleagues to attract her attention. However, the strategy failed, as she disliked the aggressive behavior. In fact, she lost the little respect that she had for me.
Critical Analysis
Several theoretical perspectives can be used to analyze the aforementioned experience. Essentially, the pressure to conform to such gender stereotypes can easily influence one’s masculine and feminine responses. According to Keith, the stereotype was a clear form of sexism (4). My male peers and I firmly believed that the aggressive behavior was cool, desirable, and reasonable. Such a belief pushed us to resist the normative culture, and we developed the urge to devalue women. Through the stereotype, we wanted to portray our aggressive behaviors to the women and the victims and to show them some of the characteristics of a “real” man. As Keith (14) reveals, my peers used the rigid stereotype to teach me how to be a man. The stereotype served as a powerful social and cultural influence. However, the beliefs confined us into a narrow code of acceptable masculine behavior that despised some characteristics that the society considers as feminine.
According to Keith (14), devaluing any feminine attribute or outcome is usually a learned response. Therefore, this implies that the stereotype that we harbored was learned from our society. It is apparent that were had observed what other men were doing; therefore, we through that it was the appropriate way of doing things. According to Michael Kimmel, in most cases, men act in a sexist and tough manner because they believe that women expect them to be tough. Indeed, such a claim underpins the belief that my colleagues and I held towards girls. In the end, this belief or stereotype was detrimental for me.
Rather than making my relationship with the girl better, the behavior led to a hostile outcome. In line with Keith’s thoughts, I did not move forward as I was unable to maintain the girl’s pace and standards of acceptable behaviors. This was due to the unrealistic individualist ethos that the stereotype created in me. The ethos convinced me that I was capable of resolving situations on my own without relying on the assistance on my seniors. According to Keith, when men treat women in a diminishing and disrespectful way, they develop apathetic perspectives about stereotypical men (14). Therefore, such indifference stifles future interactions. Women tend to develop a sense of hostility towards sexists males because they firmly believe that such men do not respect them. In most cases, such hostilities can last for numerous years, and they create challenges for future associations and relationships between men and women. This scenario played out in my case; therefore, I believe that people should avoid yielding to the pressures associated with gender stereotypes.
Work Cited
Keith, Thomas. The Bro Code: How Contemporary Culture Creates Sexist Men. Northampton, MA: The Media Education Foundation, 2011. Print.
