Introduction
Unattainable love is something that all of us have experienced at some point in our life. It is both a painful and learning experience, and a subject that has inspired numerous artists both in literature and in the visual arts. It has also urged many to become better persons, although there are also others who choose to just give up in despair.
One of the most beautiful ways of expressing the sorrow, despair, and frustrations that come with unattainable love is through the art of literature. In this regard, this paper reviews three prose and three poems that dwell on the said topic. The writer will also try her hand at writing her own short story or poem about some of the ways she perceives unattainable love.
This paper discusses some of the many perspectives and insights on unattainable love; how they affect people and relationships; and what lessons they impart with us. With the different takes that authors have on unattainable love, these insights truly enrich our knowledge and our experience.
Prose Analysis
The Raven by Edgar Allan Poe
In The Raven by Edgar Allan Poe, the narrator describes a lonely night, which was dark and cold. He couldn’t get to sleep as he was mourning the loss of his love, Lenore, who apparently passed on to the next life. He was then trying to read some of his old books in an effort to forget Lenore when he heard a tapping at his door. Although there seemed to be no one at the door, a raven – after some more taps on the door – finally flew in. The narrator then started talking to the bird and every time, the bird would reply only Nevermore. This pertains to the topic of unattainable love as the death of a loved one truly makes the love unattainable, since the loved one is forever lost from the person. This story shows the great sorrow that one feels upon the loss of a loved one.
I chose this story because it clearly depicts the devastation that one feels when they lose someone they love. Not only does a person lose sleep and feel sorrowful, they can also feel hopeless and as if there’s nothing more to look forward to, as depicted by the cold and dark setting of the story. In addition, the loneliness that the narrator felt must have been so intense that he must have started seeing and hearing things. It’s possible that there was really no raven or that if there was a raven, it’s possible that it didn’t really talk. His great sadness over his lost love must have led him to conjure images and sounds in his mind that somehow helped him cope with his grief.
The Wings of the Dove by Henry James
The book The Wings of the Dove by Henry James tells of how greed and material desires have made love unattainable for the main characters, Kate and Merton. From the onset of the story, love was already unattainable for them as Kate’s aunt, Maud, did not like Merton for her niece. If Kate were to insist on her relationship with Merton then Maud would strip her of all the financial and material things she provided her. The next situation that made love unattainable for them was that Kate learned that her best friend, Milly, was dying. Knowing that Milly was in love with Merton, Kate and Merton took advantage of Milly’s predicament and plotted to have Milly fall in love with Merton so that Milly would leave all of her wealth to Merton – even though this hurt both Kate and Merton. The money would in turn allow Merton and Kate to be together. Although Milly found out about Merton and Kate’s relationship, Milly still left Merton a considerable amount of money. In the end, although Kate and Merton’s plan succeeded, love remained unattainable – even lost for them forever – as they both realized that Merton has fallen in love with Milly and would continue to be so.
I chose this story because it portrayed how we sometimes cause our own sorrows and problems. We tend to value material things over the more important things, which often come in an intangible form. These include love, truth, honesty, and friendships. This story teaches us to value the persons we love and to cherish them so that we don’t lose them. Money can be easily earned while true love doesn’t come everyday. It’s true that we only realize the value of someone once we lose them, and this story teaches us that we should carefully consider what’s important for us and make those our priorities in life.
The Age of Innocence by Edith Wharton
The movie The Age of Innocence, which was based on the book by Edith Wharton, tells of the story of forbidden love. In this story, a man and woman fell in love, except that it was forbidden in that the woman was the cousin of the man’s fiancée. The man, Newland, and the woman, Ellen, knew each other even in their younger years, but they apparently went on different directions that Ellen ended up marrying a count and Newland ended up getting engaged to Ellen’s cousin whom he also later married. Their love was unattainable as, although Ellen was separated from her husband and could get a divorce, they didn’t want to hurt the feelings of their families. They also didn’t want to cause a scandal and be the talk of the town and so they tried to suppress their feelings for each other. Ellen most especially tried to distance herself from Newland for the sake of her cousin and the rest of her family. Although Newland ended up becoming a good husband and father, he felt that there was always something missing in his life and that his life wasn’t as meaningful as it would have been if he was able to consummate his love for Ellen.
I picked this movie because the scenario portrayed in this story is a common occurrence even in our realities today. Everywhere we hear of homes being broken and relationships being destroyed because of people giving in to the temptation of forbidden love. This story definitely portrays a universal and timeless theme that everyone can relate to. Although it was sad that the characters weren’t able to achieve happiness by being with the person they truly loved, it was admirable how their sense of moral obligation superseded their own personal desires. It’s admirable that they were able to sacrifice their own happiness for the happiness of more people. I think that this type of sacrifice is now rare in our current times – that people usually look after their own interest first even when it is at the expense of others.
Poetry Analysis
Sometimes with One I Love by Walt Whitman
The poem Sometimes with One I Love by Walt Whitman talks about unrequited love – how there is always a risk and fear that comes with loving someone – the fear being that the love may not be returned. As Waltman writes, “Sometimes with one I love I fill myself with rage for fear I effuse unreturn'd love.” Unrequited love is a form of unattainable love because the person we direct our affection to does not always feel the same way for us. If a person really does not feel anything for us then nothing we do can make us win them over. However, unrequited love is not a complete loss. The experience teaches us life lessons and enables us to grow. It also enables us to become better persons, as say the lines that go,
But now I think there is no unreturn'd love, the pay is certain one
way or another,
(I loved a certain person ardently and my love was not return'd,
Yet out of that I have written these songs.) (Whitman)
My favorite part of the poem was the line, “But now I think there is no unreturn'd love, the pay is certain one way or another” (Whitman) because this connotes an optimism about love, that we can never really lose if we love. Even if we end up getting rejected by the person that we love, we still end up becoming a stronger and better person for it. There are always two sides to a coin, and this line indicates how we can make a positive situation out of a negative one. This line also says that we should not be afraid to fail for even if we don’t get love from the object of our affection, our rewards will come in another form. As such, this encourages us not be afraid of taking risks when it comes to love.
I chose this poem because of its encouraging and inspiring message. The fear of unrequited love and rejection are things that we all harbor when getting into a relationship and even when we are already in the relationship. However, this poem encourages us to not be disheartened even if we’ve been hurt or rejected in the past. It indicates that taking risks is a part of loving someone but that we should not be afraid to take the risk. We are bound to gain from it either way. Our love will either be returned or we will be able to learn valuable lessons that will help us deal with future relationships and with life in general.
I Died for Beauty but was Scarce y Emily Dickenson
The poem I Died for Beauty but was Scarce by Emily Dickenson tells the story of the narrator and another man who have already died and were already in their respective tombs, which were right next to each other. As Dickenson writes,
Adjusted in the tomb,
When one who died for truth was lain
In an adjoining room.
They were talking about how the narrator died for beauty and the other for love, and how both of these were the same. They started to form a friendship – “We brethren are” (Dickenson) – but even though the love that was being formed between them was more of the platonic kind, it was still unattainable as they would soon be consumed by the earth – “Until the moss had reached our lips, /And covered up our names” (Dickenson).
My favorite parts of the poem are the lines “’For beauty," I replied. /And I for truth, -the two are one” (Dickenson). This implies that truth and beauty are the same, that is, they go together. I agree with this for there can be no beauty in something that’s not true. In the same manner, something true would naturally be beautiful. I believe that true beauty lies in one’s inner self as the inner self determines one’s truthfulness – their intentions and their values. I also believe that to die for truth or for beauty would be a noble cause. So many people live superficial lives. They sacrifice truth and real beauty for the sake of enjoying worldly things. As such, to stand one’s ground for the sake of truth and beauty – even at the expense of life – would truly make for a life that’s meaningful and relevant.
I chose this poem because of its fascinating setting – two dead persons talking. It is imaginative and different in a good way, yet it also depicts a message about the universality and timelessness of love. Indeed, no man is an island, and people seek companionship and love even upon their death. On one hand, this poem can be taken to mean that death eventually destroys everything – the dead would soon be covered in moss – such that love cannot be pursued unto death. On the other hand, though, this poem can be taken to mean that love is eternal, that is, we may not be physically alive forever, but it s possible for love to go on eternally.
In the poem To the Tune, Plum Blossoms Fall and Scatter by Li Ch’ing Chao, the narrator expresses her sorrow over not having her love one with her. She tells of how her love persists over time, that is, whether in autumn – “The Autumn air/Penetrates the pearl jade curtain” (Rexroth) – or in spring – “Flowers after their/Nature whirl away in the wind” (Rexroth). It can be assumed that she is only physically separated from her love one as she is assured that her love one is thinking about her, too – “Those who are of one being/Can never stop thinking of each other” (Rexroth). Their love is unattainable because of their distance from each other. However, the narrator has come to accept it and is able to live with the sorrow. She tells of how she not only cries over it – “for a moment it was on my eyebrows” (Rexroth) – but also carries it with her in her heart – “Now it is heavy in my heart” (Rexroth). Despite the great sadness that she feels over their separation, though, she still professes that nothing will ever change the way she feels – “This love – nothing can ever/Make it fade or disappear” (Rexroth).
My favorite part of the poem was the line, “This love – nothing can ever/Make it fade or disappear” (Rexroth) I think that this describes true love in a good way, that is, true love doesn’t easily go away. True love persists over time and over distance. True love is not diminished by difficulties and challenges. However, I think this is mostly just an idealistic view in our current time, with love becoming a mere commodity that one can easily obtain for themselves and that they can just as easily discard. To hear of someone professing such true feelings of love then somehow brings hope that somehow, true love still exists.
I chose this poem because unlike the other poems I have reviewed, which were written by authors from the West, this particular poem was written by a poet from Asia. This shows that love is indeed universal and makes no distinction with regards to race, culture, nationality, or other personal differences. This shows that love -- and the frustrations and pain that come with it – is something that everyone can relate to and understand. This poem was also beautiful. It was sad and yet hopeful – sad because the narrator can’t be with her love, but hopeful, too, because her feelings will never change and she knows that the person she loves is also thinking about her. It shows that love will persist and stand the test of time.
Short Story
Maria has been seeing him around for some time but never even thought of giving him a second look until one day he approached her and they easily became friends. Having been hurt in the past, though, she vowed never to get involved with any man again. However, despite her efforts to ward him off and keep him at a distance, he still stuck around – never demanding, always just patiently waiting for whenever she could share some of her time with him.
Needless to say, the quiet persistence eventually won her over and it was wonderful. She learned to let her guard down again. She learned to trust again. And yet, it all seemed just a fantasy. Joseph was from another land, from an aristocratic family. He always looked princely – well mannered and spoke the language of the elite. She, on the other hand, was just a simple girl who wore ordinary clothes and did ordinary things.
Despite these differences, they had a very good time together. They accepted each other for who they were and cherished every moment they shared.
Joseph would soon leave, however --- going back home to his own land. They began to worry over what would become of them. They loved each other dearly, and yet, will they have to lose that love once Joseph departs?
They tried to think of how they can keep their love going. Maria didn’t see it as much of a problem, though, as she loved him so much that she was willing to do anything for him – even if it meant going with him. Joseph was more in turmoil, however, as he didn’t see any solution to the problem. Being the only son, his family expected a lot of things from him – and marrying a foreign girl was definitely not one of them. He did assure her that he deeply loved her. However, being a man of his status, he can’t just easily disregard what his family and the people from his social circle would say.
Maria both understood his predicament and yet was also perplexed by it. Won’t someone willingly sacrifice for the sake of love? She knew she was willing to. On the other hand, she didn’t want him to have to choose either. She knew how important his family was to him, as well as his responsibility towards their community. It hurt her to see him being so torn. This made their wonderful days turn sour.
One day, while she was mulling things over, she suddenly came to a realization. If love called for a sacrifice then she would just be the one to make the sacrifice. She would just set him free so that he would no longer have to make a choice. Although it hurt her, she would just continue loving him from a distance and continue keeping their love as a wonderful memory.
Poem
Reason
How can love be so right and still be wrong
After all, I’ve waited so long
How can you be sent by the heavens?
And yet again to be taken
Are you a mere passerby in my life?
Did you only drop by to say hi?
Now all I can ask is why
Why did you have to say goodbye?
Did the heavens send you to torture me?
I was getting along well, as you could see
Then you came and startled me
Now how can you just leave so easily?
Reflection
This project was a fascinating project for me, especially because it was about love -- a topic that easily sparks the interest of people, myself included. It was also interesting to read about the different insights that the authors had about unattainable love. It was generally easy for me to understand the prose and the poems, although it was quite challenging to understand some of the authors’ writing, given that they used a lot of figures of speech and given that old English is quite different from modern English.
What I would do differently if I had to do it again is I would allot more time for this project so that I would be able to enjoy the readings more instead of rushing through them. I would also probably watch the film counterparts of the books as a way to match images to the characters in the book.
I have learned new perspectives on love, and I learned that I have a creative side, too. Overall, I think this was a fun way to learn.
Works Cited
Dickenson, Emily. “I Died for Beauty but was Scarce.” online-literature.com. Jalic, Inc., 2012.
Web. 8 May 2012.
James, Henry. “The Wings of the Dove.” online-literature.com. Jalic, Inc., 2012. Web. 8 May
Poe, Edgar Allan. “The Raven.” heise.de. Heise Zeitschriften Verlag, 4 Oct. 2007. Web. 8 May
2012.
Rexroth, Kenneth. “Plum Blossoms Fall and Scatter.” One Hundred Poems From The Chinese. New York: A New Directions Book, 1971. Print.
The Age of Innocence. Dir. Martin Scorsese. Perf. Daniel Day-Lewis, Michelle Pfeiffer, Winona
Ryder, Linda Faye Farkas, Michael Rees Davis. Sony Pictures Home Entertainment, 1
Jan. 2003. DVD.
Whitman, Walt. “Sometimes with One I Love.” about.com. About.com, 2012. Web. 8 May
2012.
