The title of Raymond Carver’s short story “What We Talk About When We Talk About Love” might suggest that the story is about the “Theme of Love”. However, this short story isn’t quite what most readers might expect. What is love? Many people ponder over the true meaning of love. This story tries to explore the true nature of love, but there is a lot more going on. The main characters are shown talking about bees, car accidents, cheese and crackers, domestic abuse, gin, and what not. Nonetheless, the short story reflects Carver’s style. The setting remains the same in the story and all that is happening is conversation over drinks on the topic of love, and the story makes love seem like something dark, messy and very complicated.
The story is set in Albuquerque New, Mexico during late summer or early fall. The story revolves around two couples Mel and Terri McGinnis, who are husband and wife, and Nick and Laura, who recently got married. They are all sitting around the kitchen table in Mel and Terri’s home talking about love over the course of an afternoon while drinking gin and tonics. However, the story does not talk about the typical hearts-and-flowers version of love, in fact, the story if far more complex than that. Carver has also tossed in some alcoholism, depression, hatred and violence, simply in an effort to explain the true meaning of love. It seems that Carver has attempted to suggest everyone is a beginner at love, and so, understanding what we talk about when we talk about love simply beyond each and every one of us.
Carver continues to be confusing and unclear about the nature of love, although the characters do their best to try and define it. Mel continuously makes attempts to come up with an accurate definition of the meaning of love, but unfortunately, no consistent conclusion is built up by any of his examples. For instance, he recalls an incident involved an old couple who almost died in a car crash. However, he ends up confusing everyone when he mentions that even after the old man “found out that his wife was going to pull through, he was still very depressed” (Carver 117). Although Mel even declares that he will explain to everyone the exact meaning of love, but he rather ends up deviating in a confused, jumbled up contemplation about how peculiar it is that most people, including him, have loved more than a single person.
When he asserts that he’ll tell everyone exactly what love is, he instead digresses into a muddled meditation about how strange it is that he and the others have loved more than one person. Eventually, as Mel continues trying hard to elucidate the nature of love, he ends up delving into a bitter tirade against Marjorie, his ex-wife. Although Mel does not manage to explain the true meaning and nature of love, but he does seem quite sure about what love is not. Several times he tells Terri that if true loves involved an abusive relationship, then she “can have it” (Carver 35).
Nick and Laura also seem to think that they understand the true meaning of love, but they are not able to clearly define what love actually is or explain why they are so confident in their belief. All they do is blush and hold hands, merely demonstrating their love for each other, but rather than unmasking the mystery of love their actions actually support it.
Out of the four friends, Terri seems to be the most positive assured that she knows what love truly means. Over and over again, she claims that Ed, ex-boyfriend who used to abuse her, truly loved her, even though he had a crazy way of showing it. She provides some very disturbing examples of what she believes true love is, i.e. beating, stalking, and threatening, but in her mind, these examples serve as proof that her abusive ex-boyfriend truly loved her. Like the others, however, she cannot translate her certainty into any kind of clear explanation of the nature of love. Although the four friends talk on the topic of love of quite some time, but it becomes quite apparent that abstract, emotional subjects cannot be appropriately described since none of them managed to define what love exactly is.
Mel seems to talk the most out of the group, but regardless of how much he talks, he doesn’t manage to convey his feelings and thoughts because his stories are bloated and mostly he seems to be rambling. Terri speaks a lot about Ed, her former lover, and when she is challenged by Mel, she tries to prove her point by turning to intuition. She strongly believes that Ed truly loved her regardless of what others think, including her husband Mel. According to her, unlike words, the gut feelings about love can be more intense and precise. On the other hand, Nick and Laura do not have much to say about the nature of love. Instead, they try to show what love is by using physical gestures such as blushing holding hands and touching each other’s legs.
Copious amounts of gin are consumed by all four characters in this short story as they continue discussing about the nature of love. The more they become intoxicated the more confused they grow and fail to define love. Apparently their very conversation is punctuated by the pouring, sipping and stirring of drinks. The conversation becomes blurry and inconsistent because of their intoxicated state, and finally they stop talking. In the story, drinking can also be seen somewhat of a ritual since the friends continue passing the bottle of gin around, making toasts to love.
Moreover, the sun, which is initially bright and by the end of the story it is sunset, reflects the fact that the characters eventually lose their clarity and happiness as they grow confused about the true meaning of love. Initially, Nick notes the brightness in the kitchen and considers “each other like children who had agreed on something forbidden” (Carver 55). The friendly conversation seems to be hopeful and light, while the continue drinking gin. However, as the sunlight slowly starts fading, the conversation about the love becomes more complex and dark. Twice Nick notes the change in the sunlight, once the sun is “changing, getting thinner” (Carver 104) and later it is “draining out of the room” (Carver 122).
Carver concludes his short story with four bleary characters who have nothing more to say about love. Certainly, it cannot be denied that the main theme of the story was love and that is characters spent an entire afternoon trying to explain what this emotion truly is. One of them knew what love is not, the other had a rather disturbing view of love and the other two were more comfortable showing what love looks like rather than explaining it. Carver leaves us with the conclusion that “Love” simply cannot be explained and we might never know what we talk about when we talk about love. In his short story, Carver does not define love but the discussion of love makes the readers realize that the true meaning of love will never really be understood.
Works Cited
Carver, Raymond. "What We Talk about When We Talk about Love." PageOut.net. N.p., 1981. Web. 20 Oct 2012.
