Conventional wisdom categorically illustrates how women are more inclined to their motherly instincts more than they are to other things, and that perhaps explains the reason the educated woman of the 21st century would rather leave a promising and high paying job to stay at home and take care of her children. According to Anne- Marie Slaughter, the cliché “a woman can have it all” raises more questions than answers in as far as women finding a balance between a career and motherhood is concerned. Nanette Fondas echoes this very sentiment when she says that many women who are mothers “feel a tremendous amount of conflict between work and family” (Para. 2). The truth is when motherly instincts come calling women feel overwhelmed by the fact that they will miss out on the growth and development of their children if they maintained jobs that keep them away for long hours. Indeed, women can’t still have it all, especially when they are expected to work on two full-time jobs as mothers and career women.
According to Gretchen Livingston about 10% of highly educated women are staying at home as mothers instead of practicing their professions. The mere thought that highly successful and ambitious career women can halt their careers so as to focus on their families’ needs strikes a chord. The 2st century workplace is not offering any flexible work arrangements because if one fails to perform, they are sent packing. Many of these women consider the options and opt out because their careers expect too much from them yet the most important part of their lives which is motherhood is compromised. For many finding that compromises amounts to lots of sacrifices and instead opt out. And according to Linda Hirshman, feminism expects too much of women but the modern woman has realized that is the case (Para. 19)
Society has always pushed women to the edge wanting them to achieve just like men and not fail in their motherly roles in society. Women and the girl- child empowerment programs of the 20th century made it look like attaining higher education and having a career to die for was the ultimate definition of success. Feminist ideals have always wanted men and women to share power equally, but the movement forgot that this sharing could never be equal for men and women especially due to their gender roles in the home and the bringing up of children. According to Lisa Belken, the women movement propagated the “grabbing of a fair share of power” (Para. 7). But what the movement forgot is that as long as the DNA of men and women as well as instincts remains the same; and as long as the brains of men and women remain the same no amount of empowerment can change the roles played by men and women in the upbringing of children and caring for families.
Even in the midst of the obstacles that stand in the way of their success, women have a long way to go in finding a balance between family and career. Highly educated women are expected to rise up in their careers, have the perfect standard features of beauty and still be active in the home and be in perfect control of their families. Society should think twice about the bar it has set for these career women. It is too much to ask of women to possess all those attributes and when they fail, call them names and hit them below the belt. The older generation of women might have achieved that because they were living under pressure from society and had to abide because they were left no choice. But the current generations of Generation X, Generation Y, and Baby Boomers have found it necessary to embrace their rights to question and make independent but informed decisions without caring about what society might say. Many have found it important to make compromises but when they become overwhelmed they opt out and concentrate on taking care of their homes. Slaughter makes the comparisons between the generations of the older and younger women and reaches the conclusion that the older generation holds on to the feminist ‘credo’ while the younger generation is ready to opt out (Para. 7).
Writing in the Forbes Woman Magazine, Meghan Casserly contends that it is hard to be both a parent and a highly focused working woman when one is expected to work on someone else’s schedule. Under such circumstances, a woman cannot be a mother, wife and a professional (Para. 15). Many of them find it hard to keep up with the pace while having to deal with “lingering double standards and chauvinism (Belkin Para 18). But what would one expect in a society that has always seen women as second class citizens, whose place is in the home! It took a lot of effort to have women in a fast paced career life; it is harder having them to cope with these challenges that come with leading a double life; as a mother who is supposed to keep their house in order and deliver in high paced meetings in a fast moving world!
Works Cited
Belkin, Lisa. “The Opt- Out Revolution.” The New York Times, 26th October. 2003. Web 4th April 2016.
Casserly, Meghan. “Is ‘Opting Out’ The New American Dream for Working Women.” Forbes Woman Mag., 12th September. 2012. Web 4th April 2016.
Fonas, Nanette. “The Many Myths About Women Who ‘Opt Out’.” The Atlantic Mag., 25th March. 2013. Web 4th April 2016.
Hirshman, Linda. “Homeward Bound.” The American Prospect Mag., 21st November. 2005. Web. 4th April 2016.
Livingston, Gretchen. “Opting Out? About 10% of Highly Educated Moms Are Staying At Home.” Pew Research Center. 7th May. 2014. Web. 4th April 2016.
Slaughter, Ann- Marie. “Why Women Still Can’t Have It All.” The Atlantic mag., Web. July/ August. 2012. Web 4th April 2016.
