Worst Day Of My Life Essay

Things happen…Indeed, they do happen when you are not waiting for them. And the worst is that bad things happen to you when you are not waiting for them at all, when you are disarmed, they like stab you into your back with a knife, like a traitor…the next feeling is devastation, despair and darkness. These three ‘Ds’ overwhelm you like a big wave and it seems that the world has collapses.
Not so long ago I’ve had these very feelings – my world stopped functioning for me. Its engines broke down and the whole system of ‘worldbuiling’ collapsed – my father died – this was and will be the worst day of my life. I will try to tell the story from the very beginning to describe my feelings in the most explicit way. I do remember each and every moment clearly and vividly, as sorrow impregnated me so deeply that I am more than sure that this feeling will be with me forever.
The ‘black bar’ of our family started from a diagnosis to my father – cancerous malignant tumor in his esophagus. Sounds scary, doesn’t it? Not for me! From that very day my family is real expert in such kind of things, so that it does not frighten us anymore. However, when it only happened, each of us was flabbergasted – father had to have a surgery to remove the tumor. I do clearly remember that very day: my sister and I returned from school and mother told us this bad news. I was only fifteen and her words could not form one picture in my head, as I could not understand how a person who absolutely healthy yesterday could be so dangerously sick today.
At first glance, everyone was sure that the surgery went smoothly. Nonetheless, after surgery rehabilitation period turned out to be a real hell for all of us, as each and every day his chances were slimmer and slimmer, and every single day his life was at an extremely high risk, what was caused by his inability to get adequate amount of air exchange. It turned out that while removing the tumor the doctor made his fatal mistake – he pierced a small hole in father’s left lung. Such negligence complicated father’s treatment even more, so that he had tubes draining the fluid from his lungs. The only thing which helped him reduce pain was Morphine, however, about five days later his lungs collapsed. Moreover, due to negligence of the nurses, my father was left alone for more than thirty minutes, even though they knew he was hallucinating. Feeling he was in a tight corner and in complete fatigue and despair, father automatically pulled all the tubs from his body. The result was even worse than anybody could expect – a machine was breathing one hundred percent for him, what was worsened by blood infection. It is unbelievable, how fatal mere negligence can be! The only thing we could do was to hope for a miracle, and we hoped... There is a saying “faith moves mountains”, and it did help! Fortunately, after two months of being in Intensive Care my father finally recovered and came back home. We were on cloud nine to have father back with us and we even thought that luck was on our side again, but it was nine months later when we understood that there was too much to be overcome.
During parent’s business trip to Colombia, my father decided to have a check-up. Bad news returned when one of the doctors told him the tumor grew back and another surgery had to be scheduled. When they returned father decided to have another check-up in the USA; however, doctors told him that everything was fine and no surgery was needed. Having faced negligence of our domestic doctors, father decided to deliver himself into the hands of Providence and have a surgery done in Columbia.
My sister and I were left alone at home for three months, which seemed to be real eternity. Being too weak, father could not travel back home, that’s why he was stuck to the hospital bed in Columbia. This eternity was once interrupted by a phone call and happy voice of my mother: "Girls we're coming home". I could not believe my ears, as well as my mind. Three long months of expectation were over. Even though he lost weight and his health was in a very bad state, he pulled himself together and found strength to finally see his daughters – he was a real fighter!
Real disaster came eight months later in February, when state of my father’s health was so critical that he was taken back to hospital dehydrated and yellow throughout his body. Such condition was caused by chemotherapy and all the pills he was required to take. The diagnosis was deplorable – father had only a week to live because his liver failed. He was moved to a hospice, where he had to spend his last days. Hospice is a program of medical and emotional care for the terminally ill. In other words, it's a place where people on the brink of death spend their last days. Three days later the world collapsed for my family. The first day he was told he could eat anything and his pain was about to be controlled by Morphine. That day he could talk and acknowledge everything normally. The second day, he slept a lot and when he was up didn't speak much, he would only listen, smile or cry. I remember my tears falling down on his bed, the only thing I could pronounce were the words of love and sorrow. The next morning, 19 February 2009, my father died.
When I entered the ward, crying of my mother, sister and other family members hovered in the air. I was standing as if riveted to the spot being unable even to speak. I remember I couldn't forgive myself for leaving him for his last couple of hours. Suddenly, like a huge wave, a feeling of complete despair overwhelmed me and I broke down crying. The last thing I remember was my mother faint and some voices asking me to help. These voices seemed to be so far that I even did react. I heard my heart bumping, and it even seemed to me that someone was bumping in my head. After that I realized that my ideal world collapsed…
Undoubtedly, this was officially the worst and most painful day of my life. As of now I have never had such feelings, and I do hope that I won’t. I've learned to live with the pain and at times events or things people say trigger repressed memories. However, I do believe everything happens for a reason. If it wasn't for all the great things he taught me, I probably would not have been able to help my mother run the business as much as I do now. That very day became the most influential day of my life, as I realized that losing a part of your soul can be very hard, but I coped with it. As of now I do my best to live by the quote: "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" and day by day I realize that in life it's not always about what hurts you or knocks you down, it's about how you get up and move on.